a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
