yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This house was built for laser tag.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
