its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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