I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its about making memories worth repressing
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
