Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize