So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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