I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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