I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
love makes seman taste better
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
