You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
they need to just BURY HIM!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
