So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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