new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize