woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
