ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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