y did u give ur computer a hand job?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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