Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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