Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
