She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
