can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
