I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
