Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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