We won't sleep together?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
