There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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