people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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