I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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