I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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