she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I cockslap morals
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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