Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
