He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
