your parents love me but you hate me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
