She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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