He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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