Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
