That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize