too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So vagazzling was a success
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
