That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
