i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
