so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize