So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
