wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
