he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
