I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
