i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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