I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
