Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
