did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
