On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
