That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
