I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
