Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
