I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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