Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
