She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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