Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
