Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
