Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
