david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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