Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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