I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
