how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
