ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
